Key Chains and Stickers

The first time I received a "bravo" sticker at weight watchers, I giggled and asked the person next to me what I was supposed to do with it.  Now I get it.  It's amazing how important a key chain or a sticker can become when they represent hard work, willingness to contribute to the group, sweat, tears and most importantly, reaching your goals. 

This week, I earned the little attachment that says 10%.  That's 21 lbs for me.  My goal is to earn the final charm (60 lbs) by the end of the year. 


It's difficult to put into words why I'm doing this and what it means to me.  I have 2 babies.  I love them and don't regret a single thing when it comes to them.  But with each pregnancy (and postpartum), a little bit of myself has been lost.  One thing that was sacrificed in the process was my body.  Pregnancy, nursing, and postpartum hormones were a little hard on it.  I lost control of my own habits.  It's time for me to regain control and do what I want to do.  My body belongs to me and it's time for me to claim it.  Each time I conquer another bad habit, or start a good one I feel empowered.  I feel strong, happy, proud, brave.   I want my body to fit into my favorite jeans.  I want it to run fast, play hard, live long and feel good. 

Here's me before I started my journey (December 2014): 

If you think I'm going to pick this picture apart and put myself down, you're wrong.  The person in this picture is beautiful.  She gave life to 2 beautiful little girls and provided nourishment for each of them for several months.  I remember getting ready that day and spending extra time on my hair and makeup, choosing the outfit, and thinking that I looked good (and I did!)  The point of this is not to make that person disappear.  That's not what this is about.  I was beautiful then, and I'm beautiful now. 

It's about empowering myself to make hard changes.  To take control of my body.  It's about feeling good in my own skin at my most comfortable weight.  It's about creating healthier habits.  I want to fit into my favorite clothes!  It's about setting goals and reaching them when my inner voice is telling me, "you can't." I want to be able to hike, play, run and travel without my body holding me back.  Keeping a balanced perspective can be hard.  It's easy to let shame and self-criticism creep in.  I've made a point not to let it. 

 "Getting in shape" is so much more than it seems.  Some things I've heard people say, "Just eat less and exercise."  "Just cut back on the sugar."  "Just count your calories."  "Just cut out carbs."  "I just need to join a gym" It is so much more than that.  It's a life change.  It's emotional.  It's not a "just."  Each habit that needs to be changed is a hurdle to jump.  Each little thing is difficult.  No one can force you to do it. Each day is a battle.  So how do we succeed?

With support and positive accountability.   Not just from other people, but from myself.  Self-love and self-support are the most important.  I thrive on the feeling I have after a hard run.  I smile and let it soak in when I reach a goal I've been working towards.   It also helps to have people who understand what I'm going through.  It helps me to move slowly and have an understanding that there are going to be days when we do well, and days when we don't, but it's all part of the journey.   I need to know that I have worth no matter how much I weigh, or how well I did that week.  I also love to have supportive people around me telling me "good job!" when I make even the smallest changes. 

I can't wait to see what I can accomplish this year.  It feels so good to take my life back and accomplish new things.  This morning I averaged an 8.6 minute mile.  Those are the kind of things that make me feel like this is worth it, that make me say "I can do it," when I'm faced with something I've never done before.